A Year of This

Here we are, one entire year’s passed since I started this here blog. My goal with this has always been to hold myself accountable over the long haul and be able to provide updates to those dear handful of people that’ve been cheering me along these past few years. I would still say that I don’t particularly enjoy writing about myself directly (still my main reason for preferring fiction), but it’s gotten just a bit easier with practice. I know despite the generous month long deadlines I’ve given myself for this blog that all the entries haven’t been winners, but I’ve got twelve of them behind me regardless.

I reckon I’ll keep it going for another round.

Normally I don’t publish these until late in the month, which gives me more time to provide meaningful progress where it comes to updates. In order to time things out with the anniversary of my first post, I’m writing this one a bit earlier than typical, so I’m just going to have to deal with looking like a bum this month. That said, October has always been my favorite month of the year, and as such, it’s quite the busy one, and I’m never actually able to get in all I want to do (Halloween always lists into November 1st so fast, beckoning along with it my slightly melancholy thoughts on how next year will be even better). Typically, I never really write much during this part of the year, just to keep from over taxing myself and missing out on any seasonal festivities.

However, this year has been slightly different. The only real thing I’ve been working has been the Codetta rewrite, which I’m certain my readers must be growing weary of hearing about. As mentioned in my previous post, the first act of Codetta takes place during October, and as such, working on the piece has been an utter treat. I’ve made so many editing passes over Codetta over the years, that there isn’t as much to fix as I initially thought. A few pieces of awkward dialogue here, a few lines of purple prose than I can winnow down to a more respectable lavender there, but overall it’s been my goal to not remove all of the adolescent quality that still clings to some of the words, so much as just clean up the obvious weak spots. Mostly I’ve just been rearranging the parts to better serve the pacing, tweaking minor cringey bits, and otherwise simply enjoying immersing myself in that world again. I know it’s far past self-indulgent, but we all have our innate reasons for practicing the craft to begin with.

Other than Codetta, I hope you won’t mind me also mentioning that I’ve also started a new D&D campaign for a few of my loved ones. I put a good bit of work into this game, and while first sessions are always slightly awkward, this one actually was probably the best session one that I’ve ever had the pleasure of running. I owe a lot of this to the fact that all the players are dear friends and all might as well be considered professional tabletop gamers at this point. Maybe one day we’ll actually get around to streaming like we used to talk about so often.

The timing of this entry works out perfectly, in that I’m looking back on the past year of this blog’s existence while simultaneously working on a very old piece that I’ve revisited many times over already. It’s put me in quite the reflective mood, and I can’t think of anything more appropriate.

I think I’ve known for quite some time that it can be a real trap to become overly fixated on a single project, especially one that’s been kicked around and tinkered with for as long as Codetta. There’s so much truth in that old adage that art is never finished, but abandoned. Trite but true, and yet, the choice to use the word “abandoned” really robs the cliche from a just as important dual meaning: how important it can be for a writer (especially under capitalism, nyuck nyuck) to abandon the work at some point. Every day I read over Codetta, nod along, pick and poke at it as I’ve done in years past, all the while fully appreciating how the time has drawn nigh to press onward. Don’t get me wrong, I love this story, it’s painfully dear to me, as I’ve no doubt drilled into the heads of any reader who’s managed to read all of my entries in this blog, but I want to see the characters, the plot, the world, as well as my own catalogue grow. I’m enjoying myself, quite a bit actually, but I’m almost ready for Codetta to leave the nest at long last(which is enhanced by the fact that I don’t think the writing is as terrible as I once assumed).

Aside from that, the other lesson I’ve learned has been in regards to my own voice. The many teachers I’ve had over the years (whether they took the form of college professors, editors, or famous authors sharing their thoughts on the craft) have all implied at some point the importance of concrete writing. This has been a lesson that I’ve taken to heart, especially given my tendency towards the realm of abstraction. It had become something I was more or less self-conscious about, and while there was plenty of room to iron out the particularly purple sections of my prose, it has come to my attention that the abstract isn’t merely an indicator of a weaker style of writing, but rather a tone that can be finely executed to convey certain themes, feelings, or concepts. In fact, I would argue that abstraction is crucial to telling certain types of narratives, particularly those that exist in those twilight realms of the human experience. Take for example cosmic horror; how can you concretely describe what is unknowable and imperceivable to the human senses using concrete language alone? I’ve always been drawn to those worlds, the foggy ghost lands where dream logic melts over the waking senses - those themes were what brought me to writing after all.  Hell, even just now I’m thinking about the short story I wrote in September, which is a first person story about an other-dimensional being gradually perceiving our world on its strange quest to pursue the person that roused it from beyond the veil — while clear and understandable language is absolutely crucial, how could one tell such a story without immersing the reader in the realm of abstraction. So this is one of the lessons I’ve learned: my voice and my interests naturally incline me towards strange and abstract directions, hamstringing myself by being ashamed of that fact does me no favors in the end.

That said, recall my first ever entry of this blog. How weird was that, right? My fixation on the number 18, how it’s been my personal lucky number for over half my life now — I wrote that weird ass shit and shared it with the internet with little thought. At some point you just have to own what you are and become the best version of that.

Well, I think that’s about all I have for this humble anniversary. Summer overstayed its welcome, as one can expect from living in the deep South on a dying planet, but as of this writing, the first chill days of Autumn have finally arrived. The cycle continues, delayed perhaps, but pressing ever onward. Ain’t that just the way?

As always, thank you for reading… And oh, while I have you, what are you going to be for Halloween this year? I could use some ideas.