Courage and Doubt and the Magic Between
Get ready for a ramblin’ one! That’s pretty much just my blogging style by this point I guess!
I’m going to start this update with the good news, cause it’s the quickest, simplest part to write about. I like to have some progress to reference in these, after all. I have more or less completed the outline for the redraft of Codetta, which addresses the biggest structural issues I’ve had with my first book, which was first written going on four years now. This new outline will be the foundation for what will be my last edit of Codetta, and it also represents the smallest bit of thinking I did on writing over the past two months. I’ll elaborate on that in a bit.
The overall plan with Codetta is more or less unchanged, similar to the story itself. For those who’ve already read the book and like it, know that I don’t believe I’ve changed it in any way to make it unrecognizable (though I may have gone ahead and taken out the sword fighting). My only hope is that it will be the strongest version of itself without losing the qualities that I wanted to express and were essentially the point of writing the thing. It’s funny, last year I was obsessed with plot and story structure, like it was the one key that would unlock everything. I know now how rudimentary plot alone is, no matter how pretentiously one can explain the mechanics of story. What I feel matters the most is serviceable, craftsman-like writing and earnest, consistent character exploration. Perhaps this is simply the realistic next step after practiced and gaining expertise on plot-centric values.
My publishing plans for this book have changed nearly every six months, and that’s been a byproduct of my growth as a writer and my day-to-day life changing. At this point, I’d like to think that if I do publish Codetta, I’d like to do it in a very limited, self-published run. Though I dare never make such sweeping statements again until I’ve invested something more than just time and work on the manuscript alone. My only real need with this book is to put it to bed. Published or otherwise, I just need it to be good. From what I’ve gathered, most writers don’t typically have much luck with their first book in the long run, so my philosophy at this juncture is that if I can in fact make my first book good, then I should be able to do the same with any book. To have simply created a high quality novel is really all I need at this step on my journey as a writer. My understanding and relation to writing has grown, and so thus my goals have evolved as I’ve gained insight on how my passions can bring me closer to them.
The hard part, for the first time in quite awhile, has once again become simply putting in the work. I’ve never believed in writer’s block, I know from experience that one can always force oneself to sit and write. I had a period of time when I would write one micro fiction a day, regardless of what was going on in my life. While you can force yourself to write any time you put yourself in front of a blank page, the rub of it is that you can’t always make yourself enjoy it. You can’t always force the passion, the deep wells that make the good stuff that only come from following one’s bliss - sometimes you simply have days, seasons, or even years where you reality and all its tendrils prevent you from tapping into that well reliably (though going any longer like this will make me crack, myself). That said, a few months isn’t the worst lapse in time.
At some point as a writer it becomes important to know when to do the other half of the creative process, which is the living life part. Luckily for me, I have a much needed vacation quickly approaching. Been going to the beach for a long rest just after my birthday for several years now. I think this will be year six of the tradition. It’s come to punctuate life a good bit, give me time to reflect on what I need, and the years in which I’ve done the most reflection on creativity were the years that helped the most. That’s my goal this year. When I come back, I want to approach Codetta more like a craftsman, with discipline and confidence.
Codetta is stuck between genre. It’s a YA story that opens up to a world with so much horror and fantasy potential. A part of me wants to explore those generes fuller. I’ve dipped my toe into fantasy on three other occasions, and while I’ve tried my hand at a horror screenplay, I’ve yet to do the same for a novel. This of course doesn’t mean that I want to abandon Codetta forever upon completion, but rather I’ve grown the urge to write so many different things, instead of committing myself to any one series (unless that series, by some miracle, manages to take off). If Codetta finds a readership, a readership that wants more of Codetta or any of it’s characters, I will make that my challenge. But until I’ve found people to read my words, I’m just going to write what I think will be best to summon those previously mentioned wells of passion to meet those previously mentioned goals. The only loss to this might be the existing sequel to Codetta, stuck in a perpetual rough draft, it’s fate entirely dependent on the energy I put into marketing it’s forebear. Now how’s that for melodramatic, purple writing (I’ve learned nothing).
So that’s where I’m at, withered just slightly out of writing shape, but eager to get back into it, needing nothing more than some time in the ocean while she’s still kind to us. Though there’s a touch of Autumn on the tide this year, I’m thinking maybe that’s for the best.
